Recovery from Relationship Abuse
PSYCHOLOGICAL SELF DEFENCE IS an ally to our Indigenous peoples, the LGBTIQA+ community and CALD communities. We respect and recognise the diversity of the Illawarra region and beyond.
You will note that I use ‘men’ to describe dangerous personalities throughout this website. This is because men are far more likely to commit violent or coercive acts than women.
I acknowledge that women can also be dangerous people and to my LBTQIA+ viewers, such labels may not apply. Please read the information on this website accordingly and apply to your individual relationship as appropriate.
Thanks, Sky
A V E R Y S H O R T T A K E O N
S O M E
S O B E R I N G F A C T S
THE GROWING AWARENESS OF domestic and family violence, coercive control, and gender-based violence—especially violence against women and children by partners, is both horrifying YET necessary.
It is a painful truth that for far too long has been ignored, minimised, or hidden behind closed doors.
Overall violence:38% (7.5 million) of people aged 18 and over have experienced violence from a male perpetrator.
Physical violence:39% (3.7 million) of people have experienced physical violence by a male.
Family and Domestic Violence (FDV)
Victim experiences:Since the age of 15, 27.4% of Australian females and 11.9% of males experienced family and domestic violence.
Perpetrator demographics:In 2023–24, family and domestic violence offenders increased by 3%, with the most common age groups being 30–34 years and 35–39 years.
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)
Incidents:Since the age of 15, 23.3% of women and 7.3% of men experienced intimate partner abuse.
Male perpetration:A 2025 study found that one in three Australian men reported using intimate partner violence.
Data sources:These statistics come from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) and the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW), with data often reflecting the 2021–22 or 2023–24 financial years.
T H E
G R I M
R E A L I T Y
WE LIVE IN A WORLD which is grounded in gender inequality and social norms that enable men’s abuse and violence.
The Truth?
UNFORTUNATELY NOT ALL PEOPLE mean well.
As a reformed empathetic idealist turned realist, this stills saddens me, but it is what it is.
ALONGSIDE OUR ANIMAL FRIENDS, we too as humans have intraspecies predators; people who prey on people and have innate tendencies to exploit and control others.
This is how they operate in the world and it often works for them. They live amongst us as partners, parents, sibling, extended family, colleagues, neighbours etc.
T H E W H Y
B E H I N D
P S Y C H O L O G I C A L
S E L F D E F E N C E
I HAVE SPENT YEARS counselling women who have survived violence and psychological control and manipulation that has occurred in their closest relationships. I have come to the conclusion that many women’s mental health issues are due to the impact of what has happened to them rather than what is wrong with them.
I’VE HAD A LIFELONG interest in human behaviour, psychology and the study of people I use the general term of ‘dangerous personalities’. I combine a life’s worth of reflection and research and my own lived experience with my clinical knowledge to now specialise in this area, as I believe education is desperately needed for our women.
THIS IS THE WHY behind Psychological Self Defence; a therapeutic and educational space designed specifically for women because dangerous people cause profound damage and leave so many people’s lives turned upside down or worst of all, THEY DON’T SURVIVE.
EDUCATION CAN GO A long way towards protecting ourselves and recovery from the dangerous person’s abuse.
IF YOU ARE A VICTIM / SURVIVOR OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND WANT TO KNOW MORE, PLEASE REACH OUT.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Lived Experience
Psychological Self Defence acknowledges the individual
and collective contributions of those with a lived and
living experience of mental ill-health, suicide, domestic
and family violence and intimate partner violence and
those who love, have loved and cared for them.