SO MANY WOMEN who have participated in therapy with me believe they are responsible for the for the conflict, harm and toxic patterns in their relationships.

But instead, that responsibility actually lies with their partners, fathers, boyfriends, husbands etc.

These women are VICTIM / SURVIVORS of harmful and dangerous relationships with harmful and dangerous people and, yet, they blame themselves for their abuse.

I HAVE SUPPORTED WOMEN WHO HAVE

• mental health diagnoses,

• substance use issues,

• historical or present suicidality & self harm;

• who have been prescribed all kinds of medication,

• been told it’s psychosomatic,

• have chronic inexplicable illness,

• have been cut off from friends and family

With a little bit of therapeutic digging into their history, somewhere along the way they have been harmed, coerced, abused physically or mentally by family member, a husband, a partner, a brother, a teacher etc.

SURVIVORS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE can show up to sessions reminiscent of recently freed prisoners of war; exhausted, confused and ghosts of their former selves, yet blaming themselves for what has happened to them. Dangerous people are particularly dangerous because they use an arsenal of psychological and physical strategies to take control not only of your body, but also your mind, and potentially the minds of people around you.

Dangerous personalities in Families:

Some of us were born into toxic family systems with dangerous personalities at the helm. As children and teens who are developing a sense of self and learning the ways of the world, we become shaped in ways of survival rather than thriving. Whilst this can be protective, it is also a vulnerability that we carry into our teen and adult relationships, playing out the same patterns with other potentially dangerous people. We might have children with them, who then are harmed and their development arrested and shaped by them and the cycle of intergenerational trauma goes round and round until someone breaks the cycle.

A personal mission of mine is to provide therapy and psychoeducation to women about dangerous relationships. I teach women about how we get manipulated into being in these relationships, and how to get out of them, or get them out of our heads.